I’ve been dreaming about going on a plane for forever and it finally happened.
In my mind I kept telling myself I wouldn’t have any high expectations but they always do kind of creep in.
Through struggling with social media comparison, sometimes I believe the lie that I need to travel to have the perfect Instagram or during the trip that getting the perfect photo is the most important thing. You know how everyone cares about Insta-worthy photos? These thoughts really bothered me- seriously there is so much more to life.
But you know what, I am not suddenly smiley all the time now that I am overseas. My life doesn’t just suddenly come together. I am still me, I still cry, I still have anxiety.
Getting something you’ve always wanted doesn’t instantly fulfil you. Even if you’ve prepared yourself that it wont, you always secretly hope it will.
You see these thoughts that I am describing are the thoughts bouncing round my head, arguing with a each other. Especially because I am living with mental illnesses I have a constant war going on in my brain. My brain constantly chooses the lie over the truth.
This is all part of the problem of why I have been struggling to collect my thoughts and write a post.
Even though I’m overseas the discontentment hasn’t stopped. And you know what?! this is so not okay. I know I am guilty of believing this lie of getting this thing or achieving something will complete you and make you happy. BUT IT DOES NOT! This is the difference between joy and happiness.
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So when will we ever be content?
Only when we REALLY believe that God is the only one who can satisfy our needs and hearts desire. I want to cry as I write this because how many times a day to I tell God, He is not enough for me. After I see His faithfulness day after day, yet I still compare, yet I still want more, yet I still feel guilty.
Friends, believing this truth instead of these lies is such a hard process to live out.
Please know it is a journey. Day after day we have to choose Jesus.
I’m still learning how this looks to live it out, so I’ll keep you updated- you know how I emphasis sharing the realness of life. And so here this post is- Maybe my life looks picture perfect as I write to you from Holland. But this girl behind the screen does not have it all figured out. She is learning too, her heart is in tangles too. But just like you she has a good good father! (randomly decided to talk about myself in the third person for dramatic effect;)
Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” -Hebrews 13:5 ESV